By George J.
Kimble
At middle age I must admit
Life is filled with its struggles
Often times I thought I’d quit
But some things in life are worth the trouble
Went down town and bought a Vette
I don’t know if that is good
I didn’t do it to win a bet
I just did it, ‘cause I could
I drove it fast all day long
It kindled a spark in my spirit
I don’t care if that is wrong
Around tight curves I love to steer it
My dear wife opines I’m out of control
I tell her, “It’s her big boy’s toy”
“To me the Vette’s V-8 is visceral”
My family is grown, what is left to enjoy?
Each night when I go to bed
I dream of tomorrow’s thrills
My Doctor just shakes with dread
I told him I don’t need his pills
Now tonight I may be dead
They won’t call me lazy
But on the stone over my head
They’ll inscribe Middle Aged and Crazy
By George J.
Kimble
You’ve done your homework
You’re not going to be someone’s jerk
You know it’s all very important
Now you have to face the Dream Warden
You have counted all your blessings
The dollars and cents you’ve been checking
You arrive at the shop and everything glistens
You breath, and notice the Dream Guards listen
Then a charge from a blue suited bull
Asking, “do you think that model is cool?”
He looks at you as if you are dumb
He points to the row of econo-plums
“Not what you really had in mind”
You are being careful, trying to be kind
You want a roadster, the Corvette car
That’s your dream, your shinning star
The dream police are not very nice
Especially when they start talking price
He says,” The window sticker is five digits”
He mentions your credit as if you are a midget
You tell him you know, that is only the makers suggestion
He cringes and coughs like he has congestion
So you give him a bid very plain
And mention the dealership just down the four-lane
“Will you commit to buy today?”
“What did you bring in for a trade?”
Words roll off his tongue like butter off a blade
He is the master of gesture and charade
You catch your reflection in the showroom glass
You ask yourself, “Why am I pleading with this ass”
Wondering, Is it possible in the grand scheme
To unshackle the Corvette of your dreams
He banters a lot, you shuck and jive
A mutual price has arrived
He swears the Dream Warden won’t be pleased
He shakes your hand and gives you the keys
You fill out papers one after another
Crap! They even want the name of your mother!
You feel like he has you in some kind of trance
Back out now, not a chance!
You feel like you’ve just made your biggest boner
But, at this moment you are the proud owner
Your life savings you have bet
On your dream convertible Corvette
Now the Corvette has been through dealer prep
To its side you float, not step
Oh, The thrill of that first ride
You’ve gone to heaven, you must have died
Was this all a mistake?
You pinch yourself, you are awake!
Your new Vette is not pretend
Your new Corvette is the living end!
By George
J. Kimble
A strange encounter in the street
Two ol’ buddies happen to meet
Best of friends in times long past
Conversations like these made their friendship last
Hey, my friend, I see you have a new set of wheels
Did you get a really good deal?
You must be really proud of it!
Man, I really love it!
So your car is brand new,
Let me suggest some things for you to do
Wouldn’t you like to personalize?
Your personality, your machine, should epitomize!
Adding some gusto should be your first inclination
How about a high flow air filter for better acceleration
Then get the Chip reprogrammed
Get the windows tinted and monogrammed
Install a high power ignition box
Buy a sound system that really rocks
Those factory wheels have gotta go
Put on some chrome five spokes that actually glow
Walk around back and look at this thing
I think you need a giant wing
Put some ground effects on those sides
Pop on some low profile tires, extra wides
For a better exhaust note, get some Corsa tubes
Get a bra, even if there ain’t no boobs
Upsize the shocks to reduce body roll
Change the gear set, for coming out of the hole
Now let’s see under the hood
Everything there, has to look good
How about bright yellow plug wires
And vacuum hoses too, if you desire
A lot of those parts you should chrome plate
And powder coated valve covers always look great
Get stainless steel brackets and radiator hose sheaves,
And don’t forget, a talking burglar alarm to deter the thieves
Better get a hood with an intake bubble
You can install it, without any trouble
You are gonna need it, when you install that blower
I think your car would look better if it were lowered
Every car needs halogen fog lights
And neon underneath for Cruise-In nights
Racing stripes and a few well placed stickers
Will make your car appear a whole lot quicker
Inside trimmed with yellow and day glow green
Will compliment your new Chameleon paint scheme
When you roll up, It will scream your name
It will be your claim to fame
Man you are gonna have a blast
Just dig deep and pony up some cash
You will be the high way star
When ever you have finished your car
Good to see you my friend
Your new car is the living end
I love it
And you should be proud of it
By George J. Kimble
As I walked from the cafe
I couldn’t take my eyes away
There she sat Black as the Night
The curves of her body meant for delight
That Black She Devil possessed my mind
She
shook my sole with a spell of some kind
In my heart I knew it was wrong
I had a dream that lasted all night long
I related this mystical to my brother
I told him , “In my heart there could be no other”
He said, “Now little brother this ain’t funny”
“That She Devil will take all your money”
The very next night I had to return
Like a moth to the light I yearned
As I neared from across the street
God, I thought I could feel her heat !
My body with surreal passion shook
As I gave her that fleeting look
I must have been suspended in time
When a man approached her from behind
Like a caress he gently touched her
From that altered state I heard her murmur
Then all at once in that twilight gloom
Into the darkness they did zoom
Who he was I soon discovered
From her lure he had recovered
With no malice, he was actually pleased
My interest in her could be his release
Like a romance novel character
I promised I’d take good care of her
Now many years have passed in raptured glory
And it’s only now that I can tell this story
I would do it all over and regret it not
This love affair has grown so hot
And by now you have guessed I’ll bet
I just was
talking about my Black Corvette
Cars malfunction. It is well known
On occasion we realize something has blown
We think about the repair bill and mumble and groan
We then go to the repair shop “The Ludicrous Zone”
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
You limp your car in with a small odd noise
The service manager is younger than any of your boys
He writes down everything you say about your toy
Your worried look seems to give him joy
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
He is told it is just a little tic tic
You ask if he can fix it quick
His canned response is: after some diagnostics
He nods ominously to a sinister mechanic
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
You try to indicate it is in the front end
You try to emulate the sound and pretend
The manager calls over the wrench and two of his friends
You realize you are a sideshow and bring it to an end
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
Now suddenly appears some zombie looking man
He has carpet covers and plastic bags in his hand
He
walks past three times where you stand
“All this to protect your car, Ain’t it grand?”
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
He places the covers on the passenger’s seat
He is careful and exceptionally neat
But that little performance will have no repeat
As he jumps right into the driver’s side with his greasy feet
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
Now you are directed to the customer lounge
“Free coffee in there”, for you to scrounge
You had a friend go in there and has never been found
You elect to tour the showroom and walk around
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
You wear out a new pair of shoes
Ever sales person tries to sell something to you
You expected that, It is like paying your dues
But, You dispatch them all, just singing the blues
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
You hear your name over the P-A
You think, Boy, I’m out of here quick today!
You chase down the manager to hear him say
This is expensive, but luckily the part is on the way
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
This is when something strange attacks your brain
The time you ask him to please explain
He starts talking, but it is not very plain
He says,” It’s the cross-over kindawigdet drain”
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
You say you have never heard of such a device
And how could it have such an awful price
“Okay” he says, “I’ll be nice”
“The cost for labor, I will slice”
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
You
will go home and wait, that is the plan
So now you walk to the courtesy van
Then you realize you walked, but you should have ran
Because, it is packed full, as a sardine can
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
You go to the waiting room filled with dread
So many bodies they all appear dead
Glazed eyes cast upon you, but nothing is said
You eye the clock and slowly shake your head
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
Seasons pass faster than a repairman’s chore
Eternity will pass and Ravens speak nevermore
Before you are ever summoned through the door
To take that walk across the service bay floor
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
Now at last they say they are done
You write a check and that’s no fun
You are given your keys at the setting of the sun
Now you experience the first test run
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
You head out toward your home
In a repaired car you start to roam
And when that damn Tic Tic starts to drone
You decide to fix it yourself and avoid, “The Ludicrous Zone”
Do Do do do, Do Do do do
By George J. Kimble
Time comes and time goes
What’s to come, no one knows
Changes happen for reasons that boggle the mind
Now days, mechanical systems have computers, of every kind
Cars, now days, are designed by a computer's plan
And the assembly lines, by Robots, are manned
In our cars the world has gone hyper-tech
It is for the environment and to reduce our ability to wreck
Computers measure the air to fuel mix
They make hydraulic brakes do non-slip tricks
Information about driver in-puts by Giga-bites
Determine if the driver is doing all right
Calculations in nano-seconds stream into cyber-brains
All this for better stops whenever it rains
Pitch and yaw get measured and to chips are dumped
Shocks are adjusted so our asses don’t feel the bumps
Steering angle is delivered via fly by wire
No feel of the road does it require
Heads up displays blur the window screens
Flashing computer lingo; I don’t know what it means
The computer keeps thieves from pilfering my glove box
When I leave my car it automatically locks
If perchance, the window, a crook breaks
Obscene sounds the computer makes
Headlights burn all day, to let others know, they are not alone
And I can take care of business on the installed cell phone
Laser and infra-red beams
Through fiber optic cable streams
Thousands of watts of audio power
Playing electronic music by the hour
If I am lost; Just push a button to satellite navigate
All these wonders are made so I can concentrate
When a nail makes a tire go flat
Detectors warn us all about that
But, we don't need to ever stop
Because, our run flats never go floppity-flop
Gee whiz and golly wow
What if I should hit a cow
Not to worry if you should have a crash
An air bag pillow is deployed from the dash
And to protect our precious bones
These machines have built in crumple zones
Engines dive to the ground
Just more pieces to be found
In time, we know, all things deteriorate
So at that time, we will commiserate
Lamenting, the Techno-mechanic’s computer generated fee
And the days we
did repairs under a big Shade Tree